Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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