Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
