Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
