listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
