if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Drake has all the answers
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
