Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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