Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
