Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
