i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
