Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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