He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
