Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
