I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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