the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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