Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
