Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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