worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
