I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
