Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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