Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
