Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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