found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
