craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
