ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
