hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I have post one night stand depression
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