I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
