PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
