is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
