I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
