well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
