I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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