Your dad touched me again.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
