im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
