Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
