u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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