census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
