His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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