we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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