he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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