brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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