I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
