who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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