we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
