think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
