we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
