Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
