i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
