she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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