Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
