How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
