physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
