living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
